You must be this tall to ride

Lately, it seems, my life has resembled that all-too-cliché rollercoaster of emotions moreso than not. You see, between my obsession in producing the perfect perennial publication for San Diego’s journalism convention and my sheer passion for everything Ken Griffey Jr., I’ve been flying high and crashing low more often than a senile, menopause-laden transsexual.

When the news broke that Griffey was signing with the Mariners over a week ago, I boisterously displayed my unrivaled excitement – no lie, I literally trembled, with a single tear transcending my cheek: The prodigal son was returning to where he belongs!

Then the Atlanta Braves had to crush my dreams with a tomahawk.

They tried to reel in my main man, my childhood hero and the sole reason I played baseball as kid away from the Emerald City. My heart was literally ripped from my chest and squeezed into a bloody pulp.

But then Chuck Armstrong (M’s president) made a few phone calls, and it seemed Seattle was still in this thing!

But then an Atlanta newspaper announced Griffey signed with Atlanta.

But then it was noted that Griffey denied those rumors.

But then Griffey didn’t sign with Seattle.

But then Griffey DID SIGN with Seattle, making it official! He was back, baby!

This time I was timid, however, for my dreams had already been crushed once before in the prior week.

But then there was a news conference.

And I cried those same tears of joy when I saw Junior in my favorite baseball cap, and I knew it was real. I pinched myself to make sure, but I knew it was real. March 17 is when single game tickets go on sale, and I guarantee I will be purchasing one of the closest seats in Safeco Field to witness the return of the original architect who singlehandedly saved baseball in Seattle en route to “The House that Griffey Built.” (See picture at right: Mariners’ poster boys Edgar Martinez – holding the frame – and bald Jay “The Bone” Buhner presenting Griffey a frame proclaiming just that, during his first game back to Seattle with the Reds last summer).

Ben Lee will be there with me, and we will cry as the announcer once more beckons: “Ladies and Gentleman, for the first time in a Mariners’ uniform since 1999, here comes No. 24 on the field, No. 1 in our hearts: Kennnnnnnnnnn Griffffffffeyyyyyyyy, Juuuuuuuuuunior!”

It gives me goosebumps just imagining it!