…And Boom Goes the Dynamite!

In case you couldn’t tell, that’s me. Same glowing blonde locks, nice blue shirt and a huge wooden stick. If I were to be forever immortalized in print with just one picture, I imagine it to resemble something similar to this.

Again, if you couldn’t tell (and I feel sorry but conversely look down upon you if you can’t) that is my Nintendo Wii character: “Jakey.”

“Jakey” is a stud.

He routinely hits 4-under on Wii golf mini games, averages over 200 at bowling while time and again knocking 9 of 10 homers out at HR derby. Well, that was until today.

Being the unemployed loser I have been up until this week, I’ve been obsessed with bowling a perfect Wii game. You said it, 300. But day after day I fail miserably: Starting off with a split or beginning with a turkey only to knock down 9 on the ensuing roll. Needless to say, what began as a simple “I’m sure I can do it” has morphed into a gargantuan “I hope I can do it” that has literally transformed into an “I give up (for now).”

Well, now that I’m designing a book and learning web design simultaneously, I’ve moved Wii to the backburner. Oh, sure, I do my Wii fitness each day to track my Wii age (today I got all the way down to 26. Is that good? I’m still not sure…). But overall, I’ve been using Adobe CS4 more than Wii Sports.

But then I remembered Home Run Derby. I’ve always wanted to go 10-for-10, and it seems like I’ve been close before. Perhaps this is where I can attain my unemployed glory! I fired it up this afternoon with unrelenting fervor anticipating perfection … only to be sorely mistaken.

Our cat suddenly cowered in the corned as I routinely screamed, “Back back back back back back back back!” like Chris Berman’s infamous (yet mostly annoying) HR Derby chant:She shuddered under the sofa when I followed up the chant with a string of expletives reminiscent of the Jerry Springer Show. But when I continuously fouled off the ninth pitch after hitting 8 dingers in a row (that happened 3 games in a row!) she was nowhere to be seen.

So I gave up. I was tired and angry and mad at the world. I buried myself in Photoshop once more.

Two hours later, I was unloading the dishwasher when it suddenly occurred to me that I should bring my camera into the living room for good luck. So, I did just that. I fired up the Wii once more only to foul off the first pitch.

The Wii-mote almost went through the sliding glass door in a fit of unyielding rage that surely would have distressed our cat once more.

Alas, I calmed down. I decided one last try …Boom Shakka Lakka!! Ten pitches? Ten Home Runs!